____A NORMAL DAY____

Yeah. Finally I got real player… haha. Can watch 1 littoru no namida this few days if I’m free:) And to check if I can cry while watching this touching show.

Today is so weird. I saw 2 of my primary school classmate(which I’ve seldom see), one is when I’m on the way to school, another is when I’m on the way home. Both of them didn’t seem to recognize who I am. Maybe got my hair colored? But my face is still the same what. Haiz. Whatever. I also not very close to them anyway:)

We got the components for DE project today. Haiz another project to work on which means another busy semester. Hopefully I can finish this DE project by this week. Otherwise there’ll be more and more project coming on, and more stressful.

Another day passed in school (but mic is so 'kelian', being ‘suan’ by two bad person:P). Took bus home with mic. And I called back home to check if there’s dinner. Then my mum ask me what time will I be home(as usual). And this is how we end our conversation.(but not the complete one)
………
MUM: Ni ji dian dao jia?(what time will you be back home?)
Me : da gai qi dian duo(about 7 ++)
MUM: ok. “ji de hui lai huh”( “remember to come back”)
When my mum say this, I was like “huh, I’ll be back what. Why must I remember to be back?” So I ask my mum why should I remember to be back? I’ll go home anyway? Why ask this question? Ooo… My mum was not reminding me to go back home. She’s saying: “zhi jie hui lai(come back home straight)” Omg. What am I listening? How can I mistook that “come back home straight” to “remember to come back”? Hilarious. Even mic can’t stop laughing about what I’ve listened. Haiz. Maybe I need to have a brain scanning. Cos I think I can’t understand what other people is talking about. Or, maybe is the speaker got problem, cannot send the correct signal to me. Haiz.

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___ABOUT XIAO HUAI DAN___

Xiao huai dan got bruise on his forehead le!! Omg. He’s like “Luo han yu”, got a small bump and bruise on his forehead. You know why? He’s so playful. Climb up and down everyday, every minute(except sleeping only). And finally, he falls and knocks his forehead. He’s not afraid of falling and ‘banging’ his head onto the something. Now he got 2 bruises. One is near his eye corner, another one is on his forehead. He got 2 ‘presents’ for his playfulness. Hope he’ll ‘repent’. Haha..
It’s really very happy to have him at home to play with us. Haha. He can make you laugh, angry and feel warm. Although he always quarrel with me, I still like him a lot. It’s like there’ll no trouble or stress with his presence. Play with him can kill your boredom, forget your unhappiness etc..
He loves to smile, which his smile can make me love him more. :D
Just now, I was playing with him. I use my mouth to take away his pacifier. And he can laugh until so sweet. Haha. Really enjoy playing with him. It is so fun. He learn things very fast that sometimes he imitate what you have just done. Haha. There’s a lot a lot more about him that really difficult describe in words. You can only see it for yourself. Haha.

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____MY SERVING FOR TODAY____

I must keep track of my diet from now on le. Otherwise will grow fatter and fatter. I don’t want! So, I must follow how many serving of food should I have everyday. My sis ‘inspire’ me to slim down de:) cos she went Cenosis for slimming session and within 1 day, her tummy was smaller by half!(she gave birth before hence she got big tummy) so I must follow the standard serving size of food group and try to exercise from now on.

Today, I’ve consume:
Rice & alternative:
2 slices of toast -> 1 serving
1 hotdog bun -> 1 serving
Rice(1 small bowl) -> 2 serving
Total=4 serving out of 3 serving a day(Omg. Too much!!)
Meat & alternative:
1 Hotdog(from hotdog bun) àshould consider as 1 serving
1 / 2 spoonful of mince pork à less than 1 serving
Total= less than 2 serving out of 2 serving per day(hmmm.. good.. but
low protein:( )

No fruits for today(hmm… must remember to eat 2 serving of fruits from
tomorrow onwards)

Vegetables :
1 tomato(yummy), and abit of cucumber -> less than 1 serving.(must eat more
vegetable also)

And 1 cup of peppermint tea..

Hmmm… must reflect. Try to eat better from tomorrow onwards:)

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____MY HAIR____

Sad.. my hair colour drop le!! It change from magenta red(which I call it purple) to brown(cos’ I didn’t use colored shampoo). Sad! I want my purple colour hair back! And the bleach area also got changes. It look like grey hair to me. That stupid auntie. Put so much bleach solution which really bleached my hair…. Sad, my hair spoilt le la… I want my healthy hair back!! I don’t want my hair to look like grey hair… sob sob sob… My Hair~~~

Skipped lesson for Lunch

We are so naughty today! Skip 1009 and eat at Seoul Garden! Initially we just wan to eat lunch at Ang Mo Kio during the 2 hrs break and go back school within 1hr. Since we choose to eat at Seoul Garden, might as well skip the lesson: p

Omg, I think I’m 1 or 2 kg fatter… Die le… I don’t think I’ll slim down le. I carry on eating even though I was damn full. I ate spaghetti (not nice de. Lucky I took a little bit), chicken, fried wanton, fried spring rolls, ice-cream, dessert. Die le la…. So many calories and fats are in my body. And, I embarrassed myself for being so desperate to take other flavor of ice-cream. Those tubs of ice-cream are not supposed to take de. I don’t know about it and choose to force open the cover of ice-cream. Then, the staff there came out and said that those tub of ice-cream are not for the lunch. Uh-oh. I feel so embarrassed. It’s seemed that I’m so greedy. I’m not! I just want to eat my chocolate ice-cream. Haiz. Sad. My chocolate ice-cream~….

Then we eat, chat and play game. Also, a ‘match making’ session was ‘organized’ suddenly.
Match-maker->Guo Jie.
The two ‘victims’->yx and ali
Ke lian de ali… She was pestered by GJ to go on date with yx. Haha... gj is so weird. Why he didn’t intro himself to yx. They are so compatible! I and mic share the same thought. Haha.

After that we went home. Then I saw a baby was sitting quietly on the pram. Just then, I miss ‘xiao huai dan (my baby nephew)’. He is so naughty. And he do things that really make you wanna bang your head against the wall. Haha. For example just now, he was like dancing pole dance lor. He wants to cross over the barrier in front of him. In order for him to cross over, he must hold onto something before he could fall. Then, he crosses over. The barrier is so tall that make him almost trip over. Lucky, he could grip tight onto the pole and turn around (he has good stamina. he train his arm everyday de). And he clapped and was so happy that he almost falls. Omg. What kind of nephew I have. But without him, my house might not be so lively. Thanks to him. Haha. Thank him for letting us for having a chance to bang our head against the wall... haha….

I love THE GUARDIAN

Jap langauge is fun! But i have to memorise all the character. haiz.. It's a big disadvantage for me to learn it. Because my brain has stop 'working' and turn rusty ever since 'O' level. How am i going to remember everything. Maybe it's time to 'repair' my brain and force it to work real hard(though i think it's impossible).

After that, it's 1008. The lesson is at ELP.. Sad to say that i really hate that place. It's so cold that we could not stop trembling! So i walk outside and warm myself. Outside ELP, i recall everything that happen yesterday. I just can't help myself to feel sad. Feel like crying, letting my tears flow, but i hold back.

After school, we went to j8 and watch movie. On the way, mic and i chatted about growing process. We both agree that it's very torturing to grow up. I can't stand the stress that i'm facing and hoping that i can run away from it. I even thought of giving away the rest of my lifespan to people who wants to live longer. But i can leave only when i've fulfiled all my dreams. I really thought of it many times.Haiz. Sometimes i wonder what do i live for. I cannot contribute anything. I don't know how to share my feeling. I'm not daring enough to try anything. I'm just like an empty shell/walking zombie.

THE GUARDIAN is the best movie i've seen. The story is so meaningful that really let make me learn alot. It's a very sad story. I feel sad, but i didn't express it. mic they all cried and i, concentrated and watch the movie. A sad story that make people cry but not me. Maybe it's our family 'de' characteristic. We do not really know how to express our feeling. Always keep things inside our heart. Especially me.Whenever i feel touble or sad, i just want to stay quiet and be alone. Because, sometime, if i talk to anyone i may cry until 'xi li hua la'(those who have seen me cry before will know).

Back to the movie... Almost the whole movie is the climax. It can't make you stop feeling nervous, sad, happy etc...I like the last part most when Randall gave up his life to save Goldfish back to the helicopter. Because due to some friction and the total weight of the both of them, the rope will break soon. To reduce the speed of the rope to break, Randall released himself and let himself fall back to the deep blue sea. This part make me feel that there's seldom a person who is willing to sacifice themselves to help/save others.Only Randall does that. So, i recommend that this movie is a MUST WATCH show. THE GUARDIAN, i love it...

HAPPY OR SAD??

Today(before 11.30pm) i was very happy... Keep smiling.. All i can say is, i'm very very happy today..

First lesson for today is engineering drawing.I'm lucky that that fierce fierce teacher didn't scold me(Cos i'm wearing slipper:P). I love this module!Because it's like dnt.. draw and draw... hehe....

Then after ENGDRW, is digital electronics. The lesson start at 10.10am.. As the time passes, i'm getting more and more nervous... Don't know why am i still feeling that nervous.. haiz...

Supposingly, i must go and meet him at 11. However, i can't leave the class yet as teacher is teaching an important thing... So i sms him and apologise that i'll be late. And inform him that we change our meeting time to 11.30 instead.. and this is how he reply:Ok... U done msg mi.

Maybe to alot of people, this reply is nothing... But to me, it make me confirm that he is a real good guy. And of course i feel very happy.
However, this feeling is very 'short term'.

11.30, lesson ended. i message him that my lesson le..

So, with the company of mic, i waited for him outside elp. After a few minutes, he appear with his buddy. He walk towards me and i pass him the present...
Of course, he did say thank you.. But he also say something. He said," Ni yi hou bu yong zai mai le(Don't need to buy next time)". And he left... sad...I don't even have the chance to say anything.. It's like only about 5 seconds for everything to happen. I don't even have the opportunity to even say a word and he left... All i can see is his backview.

At that very moment, i was so stunned. Why did he say that?
So i think and think.. I think i know the reason. He might be implying that i should give up.. Maybe he got gf, and don't wish me to keep bothering him.

Ya, i should give up. It's easier to say than done ok. If i can give up, i'll done it long long ago.. And there's no need for you to remind me today at all....You cannot stop me from loving you.. It's uncontrollable one ok... haiz... I'm such an idiot...

After that i follow mic they all to FJ for lunch. Then, mic ask me, "Ni shi bu shi hen zai yi ta shuo de hua?" My answer is no... I was only thinking that it's really impossible for me to give up. Not easy at all... Of course i did feel very sad. But it's natural one right. haiz.... Who ask me to be so devoted. But it's not my fault. it's my feeling don't allow me to give up.Haiz... sob sob...

Hopefully that i can really give up of him by next year... Possible?? haiz.....

APOLOGISE

If anyone of you do not understand what i'm writing, sorry.. cos' my ability of expressing myself is very bad and most importantly, my english is very poor.. so try to forgive me... but don't worry. i'll try my best to improve all these in the further post.. :)

Something related to HIM

On 22/10/2006,
Went to Bukit Panjang plaza with mummy.
PURPOSE: to find HIS birthday present for the next day.
Walk around the plaza for an hour+, but can't find jacket( which i plan to buy a white jacket for him)that really suit him.And finally, found a stall that sell watches. Then i look around.... At last, there's a nicest one among all. After much consideration, i bought it..
COST: $32
DESCRIPTION ON THE WATCH: Digital, black rubber strap, simple design.
RESPONDS:Mummy says the cost of the present for friend is too expensive.(i didn't tell her it's for a guy i like. i lie to her that it's for a 'tom-boyish' friend). Friends also say too expensive le.
However, for me, it consider average(although i feel pain spending so much on it). Why? i've even bought a $50 jersey for him before lor...Haiz... All i can say is i'm silly, foolish and idiot. But what can i do? This is not this first time that i'm that silly. It has been 4 yrs already. so what can i do? haiz...

On 23/10/2006,
Happy Birthday to you.....
Today is his birthday. And i have not send him any of my wishes. cos' i don't have his number and i cannot go online as my com got problem.
So how?? Have to wait and see if i can meet him in school.
You Know what i do? i keep looking around the canteen while eating just to look for him. Thanks to mic helping me to look for him. But, too bad. he's not in school. According to his friend, HE went to learn bike! COOL! But at the same time feel sad. cos' i cant wish him happy birthday on the day. haiz. no choice. have to wait another day to pass him the present..

Today
Fix my com once i reach home..... And..... YEAH!!! Finally it's fixed.. So i quickly online hoping to see HIM. And indeed, my wish came true.. haha.. he's online...
so i faster go and chat with him.. (too bad our conversation is not save. haiz.. sad.. cos i can't 'keep' my 'courage'..hehe....).
While chatting with him, i feel so so so scare.. i scare that he won't reply me. but luckily, he did. And i feel so nervous that my face is so hot, my hand is so cold and my heart is thumping very hard(So drama and yet, it did happen to me!)....
i also took the daring to ask for his number in case i can't show up... and surprisingly, he did give it to me..
IN CONCLUSION,
i'm meeting him tomorrow at 11pm(he decide de) outside ELP(i decide de).
So nervous...